[quote=Blogstar]The ability to hang with men, or making good decisions about when not to, comes from the child’s indoctrination to the world by their caregivers , what they need is confidence not vulgarity …and practice with peers counts, but lil’bitch is only good for practicing shrugging off and ignoring that kind of stuff. Where is it part of the adult world in an appropriate not immature or worse, hateful way? Maybe to vent in privacy or something. Profanity is the language of anger. To the degree kids are thriving in the mainstream culture,which I bet is what the OP wants, mastering lil’bitch comments and yo mama jokes has nothing to do with it. There are lots of amazing kids who are kind and are not embracing valuing that. Doesn’t mean they have to be humorless.
The other father was wrong to get hostile only because he didn’t teach his kid to shrug it off and tell him to decide on the value of the group , the activities they share, and the value of individual males for himself. Getting hostile about lil’bitch , because that’s the manly and tough thing to do is just as dumb as saying it in the first place.
But if I were the op I would drop the other dad from the discussion completely , Only his son’s role , his understanding personal responsibility in it , really matters.[/quote]
In my adult life I have seen more than enough meanness and cruelty from those who ALWAYS use socially appropriate language to know not to judge a person’s heart by how they speak. Some of the kindest people I ever knew use the crudest language possible. I personally despise those who hide their cruelty under veils of sweet social talk. As for my son, I am just trying to figure out if he was just joking or if he really is a mean person. Being mean using socially appropriate words is not acceptable in my book and worse imo than being crude.
I’d like to see some of those “amazing kids” under a little bit of pressure. Very easy to be “kind” when your world is controlled and needs and wants taken care of but in a world of scarcity how will they behave? I’d rather hold off the amazing judgment until then.
