scaredycat, I hear you. Have you tried an electric cattle prod? Farm implements, Tractor Supply.
Disclaimer: I am kidding. Seriously. But I admit to dreaming about it while raising my own.
On the SN thing, I’m with you. Can you imagine what hell a kid’s life must be at school after his family’s been on Supernanny or Dr. Phil, or some other show where the ancestral deep, dark secrets have been revealed?