Allan, I don’t know how you keep coaching. You must have incredible self-control. I think I’d be a goner the first time a parent wanted to review the “game films” with me.

These “stage parents” are all over these days. My 15 yr-old daughter plays the cello, and performs in a couple of youth orchestras. You should see some of the parents. I’m afraid to let her go to rehearsals by herself. And, unfortunately, the parents’ attitudes have been passed on to some of the kids. The competition is incredible, and the atmosphere is vicious at times. So much for the joy of music.

These parents think that their kids can be trained to be great athletes and musicians and performers. They don’t understand that greatness is not possible in the absence of talent, and that talent will not flourish in the absence of desire. They just push and push and push, and screw up their kids in the process. But there CAN be joy in the absence of talent, and this appears to be a incomprehensible concept for many parents – the idea of their kids participating in an activity just for the fun of it.

What blows my mind is the total lack of concern that many parents have about academic achievement. They want their kids to get straight As, but they don’t expect the kids to earn them. They’ll threaten the teachers and the administration until their kids substandard grades are raised. Because, after all, their kid has to go to one of the best colleges if he’s going to compete.

There’s no concern about whether their children will actually be able to function on their own. But, then again, it will ensure that Dr. Phil will be on the air for years to come. Most popular show topic? “How Do I Get My Adult Kid to Move Out and Support Himself”.