Not in the tech world, so cant comment specifically to the OP and why he has trouble finding the tallent he needs. But one line really got me.

“Why are you going to do this on our dime?”

Have you not allocated any dimes to continuing eduction, personal training, or something similar? None? Really? You want someone who can walk into a company, in what I am understanding is a very limited/new/hot/diverse market, and do everything perfectly from day one? Seriously? I am not a tech/computer guy, but I doubt you’ll ever find that.

Sounds more like a budgeting/expecations problem than a talent problem. Maybe your job is differnt FLU, but just about any other one I have ever heard of expects a learning curve for new hires.