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Submitted by scaredyclassic on January 19, 2013 - 4:29pm
Lance's confession may make the history books. It seems very important to me, personally, and speaks volumes about our national character.
He is a quintessential winner. I mean, the guy is dogged, relentless, brutal, unstoppable, an athletically gifted freak of nature...
He's also just the biggest asshole conceivable. If he were fictional, it would be difficult to buy him. The gall -- suing people who are telling the truth about you into oblivion, using your money and power to squash them. Threatening, bullying and pushing anyone in your way into the dirt.
But really, deep down, in spite of all the fist-shaking, don't we all kind of in a way think, yeah, you know what -- Lance did what it took to stay on top. Maybe he went further than I would have, certainly he bent, broke and shat on the rules, he lied, he cheated, he hurt others without any thought for their welfare, and only concern for himself -- but on some level, I think we as a nation admire that.
Maybe the majority of us would agree he went too far, but the underlying desire -- to win, to not have concern for others to distract us from our ultimate victory, to prevail, to do whatever it takes to make it to the top ... those are all qualities most americans agree are the foundations of greatness...
I wish I were more like him...I wish i were that tough...that relentless...
and here are all those traits we would love to instill in our children, in all their glory, fully metastasized into its monstrous megaversion, all venal ego fed glory driven pure shameless 100% supremely litigious American asshole.
And i gotta admit, I kind of admire the guy's balls.
I mean, ball.
I loved and admired the guy, followed his entire career.
I was such a stupid ass fanboy I even bought your i realize now piece of shit book...filled with lies...
I can forgive everything but the meanness...although I may sue you for a refund on that book...i think there is a cause of action for fake memoirs...sue him in small claims court in temecula...maybe serve him at Livestrong?
He probably got the cancer from all the doping...the irony...the beauty...what a fucking American icon....
God bless you, Lance; you were beautiful and inspired me to ride harder.....may you rot in hell...
there is no lanceness in our house...no relentless pursuit, no drive to win, no lack of concern for others...we are all a bunch of non-winning philosophical slackers, concerned for cats and even spiders, not particularly driven to win, conent to curl up witha snack and a book and a cat.
we might need a bit of diluted lanceness in us...maybe he could dope us all with a bit of his essence...
Douchebag doesn't even begin to describe Lance...prick is too weak.
I think the word "lance" itself should mean supreme asshole, just like Santorum now means the frothy mix of feces and lubricant produced during anal sex, and i'm counting on you all to start using the world Lance" in common parlance to describe the biggest douchebag imaginable..
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