OT: For all you investment gurus…Look on the bright side…You couldn’t possibly have done worse than JPMorgan/Chase :)

[Coronita]

I don’t understand why JPMorgan/Chase needed “complex financial instruments” to achieve a $2B loss. All they needed to do was hire me, and I would have only lost half that.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/jpmorgan-chase-acknowledges-2b-trading-214541944.html

[quote]
JPMorgan Chase acknowledges $2B trading loss

JPMorgan Chase, the largest bank in the United States, said Thursday that it lost $2 billion in a trading portfolio designed to hedge against risks the company takes with its own money.

The company’s stock plunged almost 7 percent in after-hours trading after the loss was announced. Other bank stocks, including Citigroup and Bank of America, suffered heavy losses as well.

“The portfolio has proved to be riskier, more volatile and less effective as an economic hedge than we thought,” CEO Jamie Dimon told reporters. “There were many errors, sloppiness and bad judgment.”
[/quote]

Translation… We betted on the wrong side of the market …expecting a big payout…The market took off the other way. We ate shit… End of story… We’re not going to making the same mistake moving forward… We’ve decided to go into the opposite position …. before everything reversed again…Any additional questions?

[Coronita]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304070304577396511420792008.html?ru=yahoo&mod=yahoo_hs

[an]

Look at all the stocks in AH or the 3 big Index’s futures. Man, tomorrow will be a blood bath. Great for VXX owners though :-D. Thanks JPM.

[Coronita]

[quote=AN]Look at all the stocks in AH or the 3 big Index’s futures. Man, tomorrow will be a blood bath. Great for VXX owners though :-D. Thanks JPM.[/quote]

Unless greece gets some sort of agreement…Then people won’t care… Then again, getting greece to do anything before weekend is like trying to get someone at the DMV on saturday…

I guess I dodged a bullet by selling those long positions earlier today….

So hey, we both can be right….Lol…

[The-Shoveler]

Yes I feel better now.

[sdrealtor]

I hope Jamie Dimon gets canned. He’s a slimebag

[Coronita]

[quote=The-Shoveler]Yes I feel better now.[/quote]
why?

[The-Shoveler]

My investments have been slightly better than JPMC’s .

[Coronita]

I don’t know. But I was looking AH, and something that concerns me.

1. Asian markets are not tanking. You think if this was a big deal, they would be reacting…

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=^n225

2. And it seems like the futures are showing less than 1% loss…
http://www.bloomberg.com/markets/stocks/futures/

I smell a rat…Ah, who knows… Tomorrow will be interesting…

[The-Shoveler]

Too Much at stake, they won’t let anything bring the U.S. economy down IMO.

IMO also Europe bonds will be bought to the exact point they need to be no matter how ugly things get (Miraculous buyers from nowhere).

[cvrentguy]

No doubt it is an egg on their face, but what is $2B these days when the word trillion is uttered without a second thought.

Funny how once gain, all the dominoes are being lined up right after the mutual fund and 401k money was sucked in on the first of the month. Wonder whether it’ll be time soon for the hedgies to visit disneyworld with kids or all this is just to elicit the pavlovian selling reaction, then buy low followed by next leg up.

Sell in May. Santa Claus Rally. What next ? Cinco De Mayo Buy-O-Buy-O ?
Its getting mind numbingly boring.

[an]

[quote=flu]I don’t know. But I was looking AH, and something that concerns me.

1. Asian markets are not tanking. You think if this was a big deal, they would be reacting…

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=^n225

2. And it seems like the futures are showing less than 1% loss…
http://www.bloomberg.com/markets/stocks/futures/

I smell a rat…Ah, who knows… Tomorrow will be interesting…[/quote]
The Nikkei isn’t tanking, only down 0.6%, but the Hang Seng is. Currently down 1.34%. European and American Indexes futures are down around .6-.8% so far. We’ll see how the day play out.

Update: European Index are down between .9% (CAC) and 1.5% (IBEX).

[Coronita]

[quote=AN][quote=flu]I don’t know. But I was looking AH, and something that concerns me.

1. Asian markets are not tanking. You think if this was a big deal, they would be reacting…

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=^n225

2. And it seems like the futures are showing less than 1% loss…
http://www.bloomberg.com/markets/stocks/futures/

I smell a rat…Ah, who knows… Tomorrow will be interesting…[/quote]
The Nikkei isn’t tanking, only down 0.6%, but the Hang Seng is. Currently down 1.34%. European and American Indexes futures are down around .6-.8% so far. We’ll see how the day play out.

Update: European Index are down between .9% (CAC) and 1.5% (IBEX).[/quote]

Damn sold things 1-day early…

Time to get rid of BRCM and PM sometime today.

[an]

[quote=flu]Damn sold things 1-day early…

Time to get rid of BRCM and PM sometime today.[/quote]
Funny that you’re getting rid of your longs today. I actually sold all my short and going long. After that JPM’s news and the market didn’t tank like I expect it to, so my guess is there’s a pretty decent support at this level.

[Coronita]

So….

JPM announced they are suspending their stock repurchase…..to preserve capital for the $2billion loss…

Or… because they know the stock is going to tank more….

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/jpmorgan-suspends-stock-repurchase-plans-141833976.html

[Author]

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