I stink at sports and parenting.

[NotCranky]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Blogstar]Participation trophy is probably the response to the jock ego trip, not the right response, but still. We are not very good at keep sports outcomes in perspective.[/quote]

Russ: Actually, it’s a result of these Helicopter Parents getting miffed that Little Johnny and Suzy aren’t being recognized as God’s precious and unique and talented snowflakes and demanding their according due.

Thus, everyone now gets a trophy, presumably for their ability to breathe air without assistance, whilst standing on a sideline.[/quote]
Yeah, but I have analyzed this. The reason they are miffed comes from their own childhood life experience where they found the jocks obnoxious and spoiled in general and like they were bag holders. The right way to deal with spoiled and obnoxious jock or course is to just blow it off like most people do. But some want trophies for everyone and we are a keep everybody happy kind of place.

When I coached U6 I tried to skip the trophy emphasize that the reward was actually Learning and playing the game. Not win or lose. Because it was U fricking 6. One parent wouldn’t have the trophy-less experience and she was clearly the least athletic person in our parent group, connection made.

On the other hand, the league was supposed to be non-competitive in U-fricken-6, that is 4-6 year olds.

I kind of bought into that in coaches training. But the helicopter competition freak parents and other coaches who were parents , couldn’t deal with that. Bunch of desperate vicious obnoxious people. The ultra nice , U-6 coordinator helicopter super achievement dad was as bad as any of them . I suspect there are a lot more wackos on this side then the trophy for everybody side, because it’s VERY broadly seen as normal. Don’t stop me from teaching my kid to be a killer win at all cost athlete he will need that so he grows up tough and competitive in life …maybe get a scholarship. I think these people are compensating too.Almost none of them seem all the amazing and yet there kids athletic outcome is this huge priority in life. How can a dad who coaches his kid from diapers not be called a helicopter parent?

[outtamojo]

[quote=SD Realtor]Allan the participation trophy is the downfall of society… though it is a perfect description of what is desired by many these days.[/quote]

While the participation trophy is relatively new, I don’t know that it any worse than what goes on with kids who are somehow connected to the coaching staff or well connected socially to the organization sponsoring the team. Anyone else see
kids who somehow made the team or got some kind of award they didn’t seem to deserve? I ask cause my 12 year old son was part of a summer basketball program and the assistant coach’s son was named MVP. The whole team of 12 year olds began muttering “but he didn’t do ANYTHING” when it was announced. I gave my son a hard look and the keep quiet sign and later said to him “welcome to the world of grown ups”.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=outtamojo][quote=SD Realtor]Allan the participation trophy is the downfall of society… though it is a perfect description of what is desired by many these days.[/quote]

While the participation trophy is relatively new, I don’t know that it any worse than what goes on with kids who are somehow connected to the coaching staff or well connected socially to the organization sponsoring the team. Anyone else see
kids who somehow made the team or got some kind of award they didn’t seem to deserve? I ask cause my 12 year old son was part of a summer basketball program and the assistant coach’s son was named MVP. The whole team of 12 year olds began muttering “but he didn’t do ANYTHING” when it was announced. I gave my son a hard look and the keep quiet sign and later said to him “welcome to the world of grown ups”.[/quote]

Some leagues/clubs do a better job of managing this than others, and some make no attempt at covering for such blatant behavior. In Pop Warner, I’ve seen kids who have no business even playing football wind up as the QB because dad’s the head coach.

I had a parent come after me following a game last season, after my defense shut his kid, the team’s stud RB, down in the second half. I stood him down, but this happened right in front of the team’s coaching staff. They relied so heavily on this kid that they were unwilling to stand up to the dad.

The good news is that high school is the great equalizer and coaches at that level won’t put up with coddled, untalented assholes like this. The bad news is that coaches at that level (and beyond) will put up with all manner of bullshit if the kid does have talent.

No easy answers, I guess.

[CDMA ENG]

[quote=outtamojo][quote=SD Realtor]Allan the participation trophy is the downfall of society… though it is a perfect description of what is desired by many these days.[/quote]

While the participation trophy is relatively new, I don’t know that it any worse than what goes on with kids who are somehow connected to the coaching staff or well connected socially to the organization sponsoring the team. Anyone else see
kids who somehow made the team or got some kind of award they didn’t seem to deserve? I ask cause my 12 year old son was part of a summer basketball program and the assistant coach’s son was named MVP. The whole team of 12 year olds began muttering “but he didn’t do ANYTHING” when it was announced. I gave my son a hard look and the keep quiet sign and later said to him “welcome to the world of grown ups”.[/quote]

The participation trophy has been around quite some time.

I remember getting one in 8th grade for Rec Level soccer and was totally confused by it. We lost every single game but one… The one… We drew…

We were terrible and I couldn’t imagine why I had even gotten it.

Kids today know exactly why they are getting one… At the time I did not.

This was roughly 30 plus years ago…

CE

[Coronita]

I asked the NRA how early a kid can start learning how to shoot…. Just kidding…sort of…

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=flu]I asked the NRA how early a kid can start learning how to shoot…. Just kidding…sort of…[/quote]

Flu: Check out the NRA’s Civilian Marksmanship Program at: http://www.thecmp.org.

It’s actually a great program. And, no, you don’t need to be an NRA member to participate.

[SD Realtor]

Actually FLU both of my kids have learned to shoot and love to go to the range… they are 8 and 9. They know gun safety better then most adults… and are probably better shots.

[desmond]

I have been through all of this. Made plenty of mistakes and regretted many things that I did. But when I ask my son today he says he is grateful for what I did for him.

1. Never brag about your kids ability, it will usually be an embarrassment to you later.
2. Never mix up “guidance” with “pushing” or “marinoviching”. Your kid is looking for you to make the decisions and guidance. If league sign ups are coming, sign them up, no options.
4. Don’t look for the sport the kid will be “good in”. That means your worried about your kid embarrassing you in front of other parents. Get over it, it is for the kid and they usually have a great time no matter what their skill level is.
4. Get involved, assistant coaching or whatever you do your kid will appreciate it.
5. You can’t run and hide from the other parents and their behavior, but you better work just as hard as they are with your kid or your kid will be left behind.
6. Sports for kids are important, not for the “potential scholarship” kind of crap, but for fitting in, taking directions from somebody else, etc.
7. No matter what activity it is, get off your ass and work with your kid and stop with the excuses.

[scaredyclassic]

ok. i will.

there’s a local club for younger kids called BIG CAT WRESTLING IN murrieta. my middle kid did it a while but ultimately it didn’t click for him. kids were pretty strong and fast.

ive been thinking about forcing my little one to try it out. he’s open to it but more into pokemon. thing is, he’s strangely strong and is always tumbling around with his pal. he has a solid feel and seem s to like grappling.

cant hurt. if he hates it he hates.

by the way, if you’re int emecula, the big cat program is great. about as good as the TMEC swim program which is also amazing. big cats run by two hs coaches who like coaching middle schoolers to get them ready for hs wrestling. theya re super serious but decent to the kids. parents often watch the practices and are so grimly serious about the wrestling it sure looks liek the pressures on those kids to wrestle well… i just thought it was kinda fun to watch, but these parents are not in it for fun, theyre in it to win it.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=desmond]I have been through all of this. Made plenty of mistakes and regretted many things that I did. But when I ask my son today he says he is grateful for what I did for him.

1. Never brag about your kids ability, it will usually be an embarrassment to you later.
2. Never mix up “guidance” with “pushing” or “marinoviching”. Your kid is looking for you to make the decisions and guidance. If league sign ups are coming, sign them up, no options.
4. Don’t look for the sport the kid will be “good in”. That means your worried about your kid embarrassing you in front of other parents. Get over it, it is for the kid and they usually have a great time no matter what their skill level is.
4. Get involved, assistant coaching or whatever you do your kid will appreciate it.
5. You can’t run and hide from the other parents and their behavior, but you better work just as hard as they are with your kid or your kid will be left behind.
6. Sports for kids are important, not for the “potential scholarship” kind of crap, but for fitting in, taking directions from somebody else, etc.
7. No matter what activity it is, get off your ass and work with your kid and stop with the excuses.[/quote]

+1. Very well written, desmond.

[SD Realtor]

I agree Desmond.

I would add don’t worry about the result, enjoy the process and time spent with your kid.

[desmond]

Also, my daughter was involved with Irish Dancing and this was around the time of the “Riverdance” craze. This activity was just as competitive and rigorous physically as any team sport. I did not know crap about it but was at every “Feis” and always helped with the installation and removal of the dance floor. Damn did my wife and daughter argue for years during that time………..but we all enjoyed it and now only look back at the good times.

[FlyerInHi]

Did Tiger Mom address sports in her book?

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Did Tiger Mom address sports in her book?[/quote]

If she did, you can probably imagine her stance (no pun intended).

I’d imagine she’s the same as a lot of these parents who are fixated on their kid going to “The Show”, without a clue as to what they’re doing (other than burning their kid out on competitive sports, that is).

[NotCranky]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Did Tiger Mom address sports in her book?[/quote]

Did you mean to be funny with that one. Strikes me as very funny!

[Author]

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