I’ve been the person on the couch (in my youth, and it was because of a housing transition/job change …no drugs, drinking, etc.) and I’ve been the host for a few people “on the couch.” Additionally, I’ve always lived with many roommates and have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Going from that…
1. If you have daughters, and this is a male relative, you might want to reconsider, even if you are home all the time.
2. Do you have an empty room, or is this person literally going to be living in your family’s common area? A guest room is optimal, but if it doesn’t exist, it will possibly be the end of your relationship with this person if he’s in the middle of your space. It’s highly likely to be a very tense two months.
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Some ideas:
1. Offer to help pay for a rented room, either at another relative’s or friend’s house, or through the ads. Maybe other friends/family can help chip in for a very limited time.
2. If he is going to stay in your house, your above rules are very reasonable, and I agree with svelte…he should have assigned chores.
3. In order to keep things running as smoothly as possible, brainstorm with your husband and kids what you want, IN DETAIL, as far as rules go: laundry schedule, cleaning schedule, rules for dirty clothes, dishes, food purchase and prep, storing possessions, guests during the day/night, curfews, length of stay, parking, phone/TV/stereo use, rent or utility payments (if any), bathroom/shower times if they conflict with other family members, etc. And WRITE THEM DOWN! Have him sign the “agreement” as a condition of moving in, and post a copy of that agreement on the refrigerator (keep a copy for your files). If anything goes wrong, you can simply refer to the agreement, and this will help keep things more “professional” and objective, instead of emotional.
My roommates and I almost always had these written agreements (but we would brainstorm together and all of us would sign them), and they really did keep things running smoothly.
Whatever you choose to do, best of luck to you! It’s never easy to be in a situation like yours.
