San Diego Housing Bubble News and Analysis

When you are college age, anywhere that is not where your friends are, is just too dang boring for words.

Sounds to me like your daughter is out enjoying life, and is itching to get out into the world. All normal healthy things for a college age person. Celebrate the fact that you've raised a daughter who is bright enough to go to Berkeley and is looking forward to life. And forgive her for no longer finding you as the center of her life.

As to the question, is San Diego boring? Depends on if this is where your friends and the ones you care about are. You know, it doesn't really change no matter what age you are.

XBoxBoy

Yea, I think friends are a big thing. I moved from Seattle down to San Diego about 4 years ago for my job. I really want to move back to Seattle because San Diego feels empty to me (yea, kind of boring, too). The feeling is really different. I know San Diego has good weather but I still like Seattle better.

Maybe she made some new friends up there that she misses? Perhaps she has a few favorite hangouts in Berkeley? San Diego has plenty of things to do. She just got used to being up north. Maybe planning a trip or two up there during the summer would break up the monotony. Hopefully she also sees she can do something about the boredom if she tries.

Edit:
I am a slow composer of posts evidently...

Xbox--Thanks. Intellectually, I already knew what you said. Emotionally, it's harder. I know that one of the major jobs of teenhood is to separate from your parents. They HAVE to do this. But how can she reject this entire city? Before she left we regularly shopped at places like Buffalo Exchange (used vintage clothing) and ate at places like Vine Ripe Grill in La Mesa (Arabic). Are you saying she needs space from, not only us, but from her long-time boyfriend, who also lives here in S.D.? I know you're not a shrink, but please play one.

Congratulations on raising such a whiny brat. Don't worry though. I predict she'll be moving back home with you shortly after she graduates because she won't be able to get a job. Then maybe you can teach her that the world doesn't revolve around her.

Never mind TheBreeze . He has impossibly high standards for everyone but himself.

Arty and Rustico--

Thanks. Her bestest friends (except for her boyfriend) live in the Bay Area or close to it. We went up there in May and she took us to her favorite Berkeley/Oakland cafes. One was Becky's Chinese and the other was some place I can't remember the name of in Emeryville and both were super hot (it was that weekend where it was over 100 in the East Bay) and they were both nothing, as the cliche goes, you'd write home about.

Rustico--

You're right about TheBreeze. She's getting a masters in nursing. Right out of the gate, she'll be making more than her dad or me.

Being bored is a function of having a lot of discretionary time. Once she is a nurse, she will not be bored. And I second the congratulations to you for raising her and to her for her choice of an occupation.

Thanks,Aecetia. I, too, am proud of her for going into nursing. The stuff she's had to take so far (I have a journalism degree) blows my mind. She's working a mind-numbing clerical job this summer. I hope that next year, she'll have enough experience to work in the health care field.

I worked as a proof reader (of classified ads.) for minimum wage. That alone motivated me to complete my degree and to get a decent job. Nothing like low wages to motivate someone!

Tuvu,

With all due respect, San Diego is boring relative to the Bay Area imho. I've lived in both places, and frankly if you're young and or a very young couple with a lot of motivation, you have to live in the Bay Area at least to try it out.

Things move very quickly up there. You want to go to geekville, head on down south to silicon valley. You want your culture and sheshe lifestyle, head on over to SF. Want to get fine wine, head on up to Napa Valley. Sports: obviously there's the 49ers and err the Raiders (uh, ok not good there). Hockey: sharks (which won't ever make it to the playoffs). And basketball, golden state warriors. (also a dead team). There's even arena football (entertaining). I'm sure there's plenty more to do in east bay, but never hung out there. Berkeley is interesting in it's own, extremely liberal. (san diego, relatively speaking, is conservative and sort of more "whitish"- nothing wrong with it, just my observation). My relative, for instance, went to UC Berkeley, and let's just say for awhile my we were sort of worried about her viewpoint while she was there...We'll at least until said relative ended up on wall street and ended up being ultra-conservative. Still lives up in SF around banker hill, and loves it. And yes, said relative, is one of those folks that would "die" if she had to live in the suburbs.

The only real issue I see with the Bay Area is it's an expensive place to live to achieve the same quality of life as you could down here, though I think there's definitely more opportunity up there. Not a big deal if you're kid has a profession that can sustain it. Ever since I moved here, I've been wanting to move back.

imho, there's nothing wrong with your kid wanting to live in an area, as he/she is entitled to his/her opinion....well, provided he/she doesn't call you back few months later after she starts working and needs money from you.  Just make sure she's not a Raider fan that loves to riot when they win or riot when they lose.

selfportrait

----- Sour grapes for everyone!

Not everyone places a high value on weather. I won't sacrifice or give up weather. Can't deal w/the cold and I have SAD.

My brother on the East Coast loves the cold and won't give up the seasons. He loves the snow.

Berkley is a hop, skip and jump from SF. I love it there. SD compared to that is BORING for sure.

I still wouldn't give up the weather, but some people who don't suffer and can deal w/the weather, it isn't a factor.

If it weren't for the weather, I'd live in SF or even back East.

Now do I get bored here, no. I find plenty to do b/c I enjoy outdoor activities and the beach. Those of us who live here love SD, but I've lived other places and when people say this is the place to be to, for example, justify the price and say everyone wants to live here, that's just not true. Compared to other cities, it is boring.

I've moved around and you can always make friends.

Aecetia --

Right on, girl. I used to write short fiction stories for TEEN magazine -- giving them all rights -- for $100. Though I make decent money as a magazine journalist, I'm glad that my daughter, who is a better writer than I am, is not going into the publishing field. In college, I worked for Baskin Robbins. What a nightmare. Perhaps all kids should have to work in fast food for a year before deciding what to do :)

TuVu, my girlfriend is from Denver and in almost any category other than weather she tells me Denver is better. She even has the chutzpah to tell me it has better Mexican food. Now I love my girlfriend and its all subjective, but better Mexican food?

I remember when I went to Santa Barbara City College. I loved it and thought I would live there forever. I didn't stay and now probably wouldn't go back but its all about context. One way to get your daughter to return is to get her hooked on something she can't easily do there. You know what I'm talking about, something outdoors!

Josh

When I was in College, I HATED the summers. You miss your college friends and have lost connection with many of your high school friends. I couldn't wait for the school year to start.

This seems like pretty normal behavior to me, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

IMO San Diego is a bit overrated. Sure it has great weather and beaches but after that the city doesn't offer much that you can't find in other places. It reminds me of the time about 10 years ago I had to call a locksmith to open my car door.
The guy started talking about how tired he was of living in San Diego after five years and was moving to North Carolina. At the time I found this odd that any one would hate living here but after 10 years of SD myself I think I am feeling a bit bored and wanting something different too. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

The quality of Mexican food in the States is inversely proportional to the distance from San Diego.

All my SF buddies want me to try these "amazing" SF burritos, and they reminded me of the burritos they served in my middle school cafeteria. Blech!

Me and my wife always complain about living in San Diego, but as soon as we travel somewhere, no matter how amazing the destination is, we always look forward to coming back to SD.

What would all of the bars and restaurants do if every Boston, Chicago, Bay Area, etc. transplant left? We wouldn't have any whiny bartenders and waitresses complaining how much better it is "back home".

Just keep serving me my cold beers and let me know when there is a mass migration from San Diego to these other "utopias".

FLU and you other people, I really appreciate the feedback. In my early 20s, I was in love with Manhattan, because I so wanted to have a book published. However, I never wanted to live there. The most I could stand were three-day visits, where I knew exactly how to act like a New Yorker...walk fast, carry a shopping bag instead of a briefcase/purse, don't look anyone in the eyes. I now know a lot about the publishing industry, and I have succeeded (relatively) in it. If anyone has questions about writing a book or whatever, ask.

I agree with a lot of the posters, San Diego as a city is overrated. Take away the weather and this place is below average. It's interesting, even though the weather isn't perfect, people still want to live in places like Seattle, SF, Boston...b/c they are such cool cities w/ character, they overcome the weather.

SD lacks culture, there's a lot of unsightly sprawl and suburbia. It has an "emptiness" to it. And the central beach communities are full of these dirtbag mental midgits. The Gaslamp is just a bunch of national chain restaurants each with 97 big screen TV's and lacks character. Much of North County is souless, sterile, cookie cutter suburbia. And the beach crowd up there is just an extention of "plastic" Orange County.

And people who say Berkely has bad weather have to get a clue. Compared to what? The Bay Area is probably the 2nd best weather in the entire U.S. after SoCal. Compare it to Chicago, Boston, Seattle and it has awesome weather.

But the weather is so awesome in San Diego it keeps me here. SD is not a horrible place (like Phoenix or Dallas for example), but it overrated. And it gets annoying listening to people go so gaa-gaa over it.

I have this mismatch with weather and cities, I like warm weather, but all the cities I like are in the North (Seattle, Boston, SF, London, Paris). Most of the warm weather cities in the US are not that interesting (Phoenix, Houston, All of Florida pretty much sucks, Atlanta). And SoCal is also not that great in terms of cities.

Why can't there be a Seattle, Boston, SF, London, or Paris in a nice climate like San Diego!!!!

We've lived many places all over the world, and still have homes elsewhere, but San Diego is our overall fav.

When my kids first got into the "I'm bored" syndrome, we whipped out the old calculator and showed them, on paper, how much it costs to live well in this world. Then we told them that one day they alone would be responsible for those same costs.

We told them they could live anywhere they wanted after college, when they were fully supporting themselves, and that they would soon find out that even if they received $80K as a new grads, that wouldn't buy much of a life, after taxes. "Shock" is a mild adjective to describe their amazement. "Horror" would probably be a better word. Funny, we've never heard them "whining" again.

Forgot to add too that in SF/Oakland, you're also within striking distance to Lake Tahoe in the winter for skiing/snowboarding and Sacramento/Merced in the summer for white water rafting, kayaking. Golden Gate park is also a great place on Sundays for inline skaters and skateboarders. Also, road trips are great there. Santa Cruz mountains with their twisties are great for car freaks and enthusiasts clubs. AND there is an awesome race track up there.

There really is much more available imho to do up there. Since moving back, I still have yet to dust off my skis and skates (ok, it doesn't help my wife doesn't can't ski, skate.) And ironic, I live probably about 10 mins to the ocean here, and I can't remember the last time i was there, as I really don't have a desire to learn how to surf.

TuVu, Manhattan, so I have heard is really only a great place to live IF you are on a wall street salary. Otherwise, I heard it's pretty miserable. 

I think what makes the Bay Area different is that you don't have to live in SF or really ritsy neighborhoods to enjoy what it has to offer. It's really much more of an outdoors culture than anything else.

As an added bonus, smart/attractive women have an advantage being in the Bay Area (the guy to girl ratio is terrible for a guy).

selfportrait

----- Sour grapes for everyone!

Generally if someone says they prefer the Bay Area over San Diego they are either Asian or Gay.

FLU--You're right about the male/female ratio in the Bay Area. It's really similar in S.D. as well, this being a military town and all. On the attractiveness 1 to 10 scale, my spouse and I rate around 5 each. She turned out 10. Twice, she has been contacted via SF Craig's List "Missed Connections" (I think that's what it's called) by guys who have seen her (one, at a concert at the Fillmore, of all things) asking, "Are you this girl?" She's great friends with both of these guys, but not intimate. They are techies. I keep my mouth shut. The guys we made fun of in high school who were in the AV club (I'm 52) are Silicon Valley millionaires.

I'm not Asian. I'm Italian. I'm not gay either. At last check, my husband doesn't think so. Though I do appreciate it when I see a cute girl.

The weather keeps me in SD. But SF is a great city and were it not for the weather, I'd pick SF.

jp--

I always appreciate your comments. I had no idea you were female, as am I.

LOL - I didn't know you were a female. More of us here than we think ;)

I'm sure that as soon as she told anyone that she was from San Diego, she was immediately overwhelmed with Northern Californians telling her how horrible SoCal is, and how they would never consider living someplace so boring and evil.

As an LA/OC guy who was at Berkeley, I constantly had to hear about how bad the traffic was in LA (really? seemed worse in the Bay Area to me), how LA stole all of its water from Northern California to water its lawns and fill its swimming pools (really? the Owens Valley thing is indeed a travesty, but at least we didn't dam up a canyon in Yosemite for our water, and hey, my city actually used the local aquifer), how culturally superior SF is (really? where's the better art scene? which city has better museums?) .

Maybe some of this stuck, or maybe this is about her finding a place that she can call her own for the first time in her life. I think "boring" is in the eye of the beholder, but I would argue that the Bay Area is generally a lot more interesting than Southern California, and San Diego in particular. I love them both, for different reasons. Rather than having hurt feelings, I would be glad that my daughter has fallen in love with a place that is, as you pointed out, a short jaunt away.

I suspect "boring" = "used to it"

And "exciting" = "not the same as what I knew for the first 20 years of my life."

A kid raised in Berkeley could easily come to college here and say the same things to their parents back home.

To me, my home town (Tucson) is the most boring place on the planet. But, when friends of mine visited from Manhattan, they were enamoured by it.

My mom - raised in the country - craves the city life. My dad, raised in the city, has a tendency towards cabin life.