San Diego Housing Bubble News and Analysis

DELETED. On second thought I'm staying well clear of this one.

Marion, you really don't want to post this on the Internet. Please consult with your attorney and I'm sure that he/she will will you the same thing. Pick another subject but this is just not smart.

From what you're saying it appears that you're setting a horrible example for your children. You're exacerbating a rift within your side of the family and you're getting involved in a fight wherein the only winners will be the lawyers.

Even if you do get the cash, the lawyers fees will detract from the resources used to take care of your children, both now and for the remainder of their adolescence.

Being a happy and productive member of society doesn't mean not having problems; it means learning how to work through your problems in a mature and efficient manner. Your children will learn their coping mechanisms by example, and the example you're chortling about here is the worst case scenario.

This example doesn't demonstrate the benefits of self-reliance and personal resourcefulness - it demonstrates an attitude of external gratification, of vindictiveness and revenge, of pettiness and greed. You are showing your children that if they're incapable of meeting their own needs their next best shot is to pursue their "entitlements" regardless of the chaos and turmoil it causes at home and within the family.

Your kids will grow up and when they do you will no longer be in control of the relationship. You'll be along for the ride in whichever direction they choose to go. Your kids will be adults for a lot longer than they were children, and if you poison this well now you will be sorry for the rest of your life.

Considering your chosen profession and its applications in our society I am shocked that you would allow yourself to lose composure in this way.

Mark my words - going down this path will not make you (or your children) happy and it will not make your life one bit better.

(deleted)

never talk about a personal legal case online like this.

Marion Enough Already-

Really? Why would you post this information on a website, what were you expecting to get? Go get'em? You can do it?

When you first joined the piggs, the OT posts were sometimes amusing and I figured that you liked to ruffle feathers, but enough already. You are an attention whore. Please find another website/blog...you are a nuisance for people who are actually here to educate themselves.

You need to take the high road here and keep all of this off the internet and away from your boys. You will damage the boys more than they are already damaged if you become obsessive and angry and bitter because the attitudes will spill over into your everyday relationships. Those of us who have been through a divorce and survived with our dignity intact and who have built new relationships with the exes know this is a more productive path in the long run and allows for joint attendance at future weddings, funerals, and birthdays. And it's "jugulars", not "jugglers"

Ah, I thought it was "juggies" misspelled. I thought maybe Marion wanted the lawyer to rip out her sisters' breast implants. It's all so confusing.

Anyhow, a battle royale between Marion and her sisters who have sided with her ex... yeah, that sounds about right.

Oh, Shoot! That's embarrasing, especially since I studied the function of the jugular vein while doing my nursing prereqs AND I substitute teach. Ouch!

Waiting patiently, you can shut up.

File Under: "Story of Marion's Life"

Come on now, let's not let this post disintegrate to insults. Marion inadvertently posted a topic that will lead to good advice for her.

Divorce can bring out the worst in people so hopefully someone will read this thread and learn how not to act in the event of divorce.

Acting with restraint now will yield future dividends.

Acting with malice now will create angry children, preclude future peaceful attendance at what should be happy events for the kids, and set the background for irredeemable consequences.

p.s. Marion, that's pretty sad that your parents are involved in this also and that they are taking sides against your sisters and that your side of the family is being pitted against each other. No matter what, families never see the entire picture clearly and this is a prime example of lack of restraint.

Marion,

Exercising your rights is one thing. Engaging in trench warfare is something else entirely.

I've been through a divorce and a custody hassle, and the one thing I can tell you is that the term "living well is the best revenge" is 100% true, especially when it comes to the kids. Your kids will each turn 16 one day, at which point they will be able to make their own decisions with respect to custody and lifestyles. And make no mistake, when that time comes they will gravitate to the parent who can help them solve their problems, not the one who causes all the problems.

My ex relied on the legal system to get what she wanted and she ultimately ended up alone and pissed off. I gave her everything she wanted without fighting it, and I ended up with the hearts and minds. She's not a bad person by any means, but she lost sight of the big picture and now she's paying for it.

Each of my kids left my ex at their first opportunity (between 15-16), and came into my household to grow up. My ex couldn't stop them, even though she was convinced that I am the Devil incarnate.

I guess what I'm saying is that regardless of what happens over the next 6 or 7 years there will be another 40 years after that in which you'll have to live with your decisions. As angry as you are at this moment you shouldn't allow it to cloud your judgement or infringe on your long term goals.

Someone once told me this:

In divorce cases, lawyers do their best to encourage/maximize the level of contempt/hatred between the 2 sides. This translates into more "fighting" which, in turn, means more "billable hours".

Divorce lawyers understand that, in the midst of battles, people are irrational, they just want to win, at all costs.

Only after the dust have settled, people will realize that it's the lawyers (on both sides) that win.

Wow Marion, your sisters are taking your ex-husband's side? Why would they do that? Have you previously enjoyed a good relationship with them? What kind of statements did they make against you? Do your sisters have a good relationship with your kids? If I recall, your ex wanted to decrease the amount of support he was paying. Now he wants full custody of the kids? What a jerk. Don't let him get away with it!

Well, it sounds like you've hired the perfect attorney for the job. Follow his advice and I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. You can win this!

Well written, Bugs. You reap what you sow, or as I prefer to think of it, you invent the future that you want to face.

My own divorce was amicable because we (ex & I) kept our issues private and worked towards the common good of our daughter. The reward is a peaceful relationship with my ex that allows my daughter to feel safe with either parent and new spouses. BTW, she is 31 now, loves her stepfather and stepmother, and knows she can talk about either parent in front of the other and that both sets of parents can be in the other's homes for a drink!

Marion, please heed the advice of others who say to keep this off the internet. I have a friend going through a divorce right now whose ex is using her myspace activity as evidence that she may be cheating on him. He is actually the one that cheated but in a nasty divorce all of this stuff becomes some kind of evidence/fodder for more attorney hours.

Sorry to hear Marion, it takes 2 people to have a happy marriage but only 1 to ruin it. Of course there are exceptions but IMO it seems that when men go through a divorce they just want it to be over with and often agree to give the woman more than what is ‘fair’. Some of them regret it after a few years, I’ve seen this many times. Also I’ve seen many times where the woman does not really care at all to take everything they guy has and leave him for dead. Generally men won’t do that contrary to what is perceived on TV, especially if kids are involved.

Dave, you want a date, don't you?

You'll have to send me a message to my private inbox and ask me there.

(deleted)

Marion,

I understand the need to vent, but I strongly agree with the numerous comments on NOT posting this online. I would recommend that you ask Rich to delete this post.

The only reason that you would not delete this post is that you enjoy the attention too much. I'm not a psychologist (thats your realm of expertise), but you certainly seem to fit many of the traits of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

DSM Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

...such people make strong attempts to control others’ view of them and behaviour towards them.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is isolating, disenfranchising, painful, and formidable for those diagnosed with it and often those who are in a relationship with them.

To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others' needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen

People who are overly narcissistic commonly feel rejected, humiliated and threatened when criticised. To protect themselves from these dangers, they often react with disdain, rage, and/or defiance to any slight criticism, real or imagined.

Though individuals with NPD are often ambitious and capable, the inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional achievements [8].

The exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, disregard for others, and constant need for attention inherent in NPD adversely affect interpersonal relationships.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissisti...

As a defense attorney, I LOVE plaintiffs who post information like this online...we actively google and do other internet searches regarding every plaintiff we deal with.

Ah, Coop the dog. I see you've dug up some info from the DSM-IV in your attempts to educate yourself on the topic.

Allow me to add to that: Diagnosing someone can be a complicated process and one that shouldn't be done by someone who isn't qualified. In addition to mimicking each other, personality and other mental disorders are often co-morbid. In laymen terms, that means they exist with each other, the symptoms overlap, and often it's hard to tell which one began first or arose out of the other one.

You want a date too, don't you? It's not gonna happen Cooper. Trust me.

Hmmm...Coop's diagnosis seems pretty spot on to me...

Don't worry, I don't want a date - Trust me.

Marion, you're really just digging yourself into a hole here. This isn't the kind of site for this post. Maybe you can ask Rich to delete it. Seriously.

Piggs, I have asked Rich to delete this thread. Obviously I wasn't thinking when I posted it this morning. Before my coffee, you know. :)

atr, I just sent Rich a message.

Well, that's a bit harsh. What exactly did I say to incur your wrath? As far as me reminding you of Nostradamus, if it's ok with you I'll take that as a compliment.

Oh, and thanks for your well-wishes regarding my career. Being a lawyer isn't up there with substitute teaching, but it keeps my pantry full of ramen noodles. Best of luck with that whole tearing-your-family-to-pieces thing. Money well spent.

Marion, there's "Hope" and there's "Reality." In your case, a gulf lies between the two. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Get over yourself. The only thing "special" about you is the special education from your past.

(Note to Rich: Please please don't delete this thread. It's too hysterical.)

Ok, while we're waiting on Rich to delete.

Dave, do you wear a toupe and do you have grisly-looking feet? Both of those things would disqualify you from a date with me.

You're so ugly inside Dave, that even if you were hot-which I highly doubt-you'd still have to beg.

Did we just jump the shark or what ?

coo-coo, coo-coo

Maybe we need a new subsection of off-topic threads labeled "Nutty" ?

I was thinking the same thing....